Following the decade’s highest profile prison break there are demands from many right wing Labour MP’s for the circumstances of the breakout to investigated.
Mr. B(ig) Control-Freak MP said “Prisoner No.59.5% held in Clause 4 Wing had been securely behind bars, together with all those suspected of being ‘lefties’, since the infamous purges (chases) of the Cannock era; that they should all escape now and become our Leaders is embarrassing and unacceptable.”
Another right winger who did not want to be identified said “He was locked up and the key had been chucked away so how did he get out and miraculously become Labour Leader? And how many more lefties have found their way into the Labour Party; it’s just not on!”
“The prison was supposed to be as secure as Alcatraz, no one could get out, yet left wingers have thrown open the gates and subjected Labour to a coup.” added another desperate Glairite MP.
But the killer comment came from Just(in) Toofarright MP who said “We killed off the left wingers, took the Party on to success as Red Tories and now we are back on the left again and I don’t like it one bit. We are Conservatives with a small ‘c’ and we need to snatch power back again ASAP.”
Investigating officer Tyme Fahrenheit responded to the majority of desperate Labour MP’s by offering them no reassurance what so ever, so it looks like they will either have to switch to being proper socialists or join the Tories as opposed to pretending to be Tories when it suited them. Any with a real social conscience who have not gone around bashing the poor and disadvantaged may be given an opportunity to redeem themselves via the Liberal cause it is suggested.
Initial investigation conclusions indicate that Labour shot itself in the foot by offering votes (get out of jail free passes) to anyone who wanted one. This in turn opened the flood (prison) gates and the previously captive simply put themselves back in the saddle as though they had never fallen off.